I can’t tell much of a difference

A few months ago, I weighed myself and was shocked. Way too fat. I take meds for diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. My ex-girlfriend really wanted me to find a way off of the meds because she believes in homeopathic medicine. I just don’t like taking pills, so I was all for it.

When she and I broke up, not by my choice, I latched onto the idea of losing weight to win her back. I would get off the pills she hated, i would be more attractive to her, and also, the pain and discomfort I would go through to do it (because of the way I walk on the sides of my feet) would make her realize how much she meant to me. I mean, come on, it has to be flattering for a guy to torture himself like that for you, right?

Yeah, I know, it was stupid.

The fact of the matter is that she just didn’t want to be with me and moved on. The funny thing about me, though, is how stubborn I am. I attack things, frontal assault, and I don’t give up. I mean, I gave up on her, obviously there was nothing that I could do to change that, so I have just moved on with my life. Mostly. The weight loss goal, was still attainable and I hadn’t had any sort of defeat there.

As of now, I’ve worked really hard to lose weight. I have dropped 32 pounds. I’ve changed my diet and I exercise daily. I guess you can call that an understatement. I have changed my diet radically and I exercise for 2 hours a day or more.

I’ve cut out all processed foods except cheese and bread, and the bread is going to go as soon as I start baking my own again. My diet is mainly roast chicken and vegetables for lunch and dinner and either a bowl of cereal or three boiled eggs for breakfast. Recently, I have just scrambled the eggs and cooked them with non-stick spray. Boiled eggs get real old after a while. I ride my bike 10 miles in the morning and I walk 3 miles in the evening. I lift weights before riding every other morning. I’ve done this for months and, like I said, I have had results.

Just not enough results.

There is no doubt that I am stronger than I have been for 10 years. I have far more endurance and I’m wearing smaller clothes. I just can’t tell a difference when I look in the mirror. i don’t know if I need to exercise more, try a harsher diet, a combination of the two, or what. I just started taking fish oil. I knew it helps cholesterol but I read (recently) how it helps fat loss. We’ll see. I have a checkup at the end of September and I want to get off all of my meds. I hope to lose another 20 or 25 pounds by then. I’m not so sure I can. I’m averaging 1.5 lbs a week.

In any case, I have no idea how long this will take me, how long I can keep my focus on it. If I make a little more progress, just enough that I can tell when I looked in a mirror, I will be home free.

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